Growing Together: A visual story of the children we've been blessed to love.

In September of 2023, Lindsay and I officially became certified foster parents. We hoped to use the blessings God gave us to serve children in need of a home.  We gave our placement ages for a girl ages 5-8 years old. We knew we were both working so we couldn't stay home or pay additional childcare. We received our first call for a 3 year old girl who we were told had been "severely neglected." They offered to help pay childcare costs, and we said yes. This beautiful girl had been the victim of unbelievable trauma and abandonment. Within the first 2 weeks of staying with us, we were kicked, hit, bit, etc. We found out she was still taking bottles of formula at 3 years old. We also got a call three weeks later explaining why she was spitting all the time. She was detoxing from methamphetamines. We ended up at Children's Hospital twice as she also had a double respiratory infection. Over the first month, we began to find out more and more about her story. For the sake of privacy, we cannot share specific information, but what we can share is within the first month, we established sleep, food, play, occupational, behavioral, and physical therapy. These appointments were scheduled weekly and were time consuming. 

We fell in love with this precious child, and believed that she was the one God brought to us to potentially foster-adopt. Over the next month, we heard from her caseworkers, therapists, and attorneys that her circumstances were one of the most severe cases they've seen. The strain it placed on our family, and each other became more than we could bear. Burnout was imminent and hit fast. We struggled to maintain our jobs, schedules, and relationships with our biological children as her needs were so high. In mid December, Lindsay had gone over 5 nights without sleep, which made it extremely hard to keep up with her work. We made one of the most difficult and heartbreaking decisions we've had to make. We called to get emergency respite, so Lindsay could catch up on sleep. Then, a few days later, I told Lindsay that we should find her another foster family for this sweet girl, so she could keep up with her teaching job. For the district would not allow her to use the "sick leave bank" as our foster daughter was not biological/immediate family. They did allow Lindsay to take FMLA, but it was not paid leave. It was heartbreaking for both of us, but especially my wife as she was the one who rocked her to sleep and got up with her during the night. Our first foster daughter never cried at our "Christmas Party" where we showered her with gifts and brought in her suitcases. However, our hearts broke while grief consumed us for months. Words from a friend rang true in our hearts as we grieved: "You need to remember, God used you as a bridge from trauma to love." 

In April of 2023, we got a call for a 5 year old girl. She brought laughter, joy, excitement, and her own versions of neglect and trauma. We quickly learned that every child's ability to cope with their heartache is very different, but our love for them must be consistent. While the 5 year old was with us, we discovered the difficulty of juggling the multiple visits with her family. It was something we hadn't experienced before for our first foster daughter wasn't allowed any parental visits. Over the next several months, we received another call for 3 siblings. Our first response was, "I am sorry, but we don't even have a car big enough." Yet, our youngest son, Joshua, said, "Dad, if David and I were split up I'd be so sad. We have to make room  until they can find a place for all three of them." So, Lindsay called back and said, "Okay. We can be a temporary placement." This is the type of love and kindness we hoped our kids would grow up with, and our hearts were touched with pride as Joshua showed love and kindness in sharing his room with two other boys. The oldest (10 yrs old) was found knocking on doors asking for food. We had heard there was physical abuse, and they'd been in the ER the week before. So, understandably, trust was difficult for them. Quickly our house went from 5 to 8 people in the blink of an eye. These kids came to us that night at almost 10:00 pm. Their clothes were so dirty, and they were so hungry.  I started the grill while Lindsay started the bath. We worked as a team to fill their bellies and show them unconditional love. Although these 3 children only stayed for a week, it was fun, chaotic, sometimes sad, but the days were filled with more joy than heartache. We were again a bridge to a possible forever home.

As time passed, we received a call that our 6 year old foster daughter would be moving to Mississippi to be with her Aunt & Uncle. Although we both believed this was a good place for her to go, I struggled for a long time with "letting go." There was a close and very special father daughter bond we shared. She had said to me at one time "Would you be my forever daddy?" I can't say I didn't cry a bit that day. We were beginning to prepare for the transition of our 6 year old to move when we received another call for a 3 year old girl who had recently been removed from her family. There was a 2-3 week overlap between one leaving and one arriving and it was magical. These two girls bonded quickly and had so much fun together. It was a quick transition because in August, we received a call for another 6 year old. Once again, we realized that every child had very different ways of coping with trauma. This 6 year old had tantrums of epic proportions. One minute she was the sweetest little girl, and played with the 3 year old so well. Yet, in the blink of an eye, there was screaming, defiance, and fits one would expect of a 3 year old. We knew that each child struggled individually. Our love again needed to be consistent and our patience deep. The 6 year old ended up with another family for a short time before returning to her biological family. It seems we are now in a similar place today as we were in December of 2023. We have a 3 year old that we would love to foster-adopt, but she is on track to return to her mother in the next several months. Lindsay and I both know this is a part of the process, but even our boys are smitten by the hugs, cuddles, and laughter of this precious little one. 

Through our experiences, Lindsay and I have found the difficulty of burnout, occasional lack of support, and the financial burden of acquiring necessary items these children need. We have purchased clothing, toys, bedding, shoes, beds, bikes and more for these kids. Although, our foster agency has done a wonderful job of trying to meet all our needs, we realize they don't always have things we need like shoes and the appropriate bed. Lindsay and I discussed ways we could step up and help serve others who may be in similar circumstances. Through many prayers and conversations, we came to realize the vision of Courageous Love. We are committed in helping meet necessary needs of children and foster families to mitigate burnout, and promote fun experiences for foster children who have significant trauma to begin the healing process. Your prayers and financial support are key to our ability to accomplish this mission. We are currently both working, and doing this ministry on the side in our spare time. The clothing and toys you donate go directly to the children in need. The vouchers and discounts our community partners donate go to families who are exhausted and are needing laughter. The money you donate helps our ministry operate for we drive to pick up donations using gas, milage, and time. We work hard setting up events for these children. It takes time, phone calls, and we do all of this while working other jobs. The hustle is real as we are burning the candle at both ends so to speak. The money you donate will help us buy these children NEW shoes, socks, underwear, pullups, diapers, etc. Thank you so much for your support through prayer, sharing our organization with friends, or sponsoring our labor of love and passion to make a difference in the lives of these children and serving our community.  

With Love and Gratitude, 

Andrew & Lindsay Crust